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Posts Tagged ‘sociable’

So, the new year has already begun and I’ve decided there is going to be some changes that come with it too.

This year I’m going to concentrate on me.  Yes, I’m a mum of 3, and my boys will still come first no matter what, but after that it’s me, me, me!

I’m a totally unsociable cow – there, I’ve admitted it.  If people invite me out I already have an excuse stored in my brain to give them straight away without even thinking about it.   A lot of friends  just don’t bother asking me anymore because the answer has always been no.

One of the reasons for this among others is I just hate leaving my children.  I could count on my fingers the amount of times in 5 years I’ve left them.  I’m like one of those obsessive mothers I promised I’d never be.  I know deep down they’ll be fine without me, but my stubbornness of people thinking I may need help, or the guilt of leaving them stops me everytime.

Another reason is I’m a complete and utter hermit which I know doesn’t help.  I go out if I have to, and try not to if I don’t.  Yes, I do the school run, go to the shops, take the kids to the park, but anything apart from that I rarely do.  It’s not that I don’t want to or anything but I have an irrational fear of doing new things.  I get a sicky feeling in the pit of my stomach when situations are slightly different to me or the unknown.  I’ve always been the same since I was a child.  I’ve fainted in exams, been sick in inappropriate places and had panic attacks too.   For these reasons especially I know I have to push myself this new year and  make a change.  I think it’s about time I remembered that before I was a wife and mum, I was a friend, and that’s something I still want to be if they’ll still have me…   So for my sanity wish me luck because 2010 is going to be a less scared, more sociable me for everyones sake!