January 3rd, 2010 | 
Author: So, the new year has already begun and I’ve decided there is going to be some changes that come with it too.
This year I’m going to concentrate on me. Yes, I’m a mum of 3, and my boys will still come first no matter what, but after that it’s me, me, me!
I’m a totally unsociable cow – there, I’ve admitted it. If people invite me out I already have an excuse stored in my brain to give them straight away without even thinking about it. A lot of friends just don’t bother asking me anymore because the answer has always been no.
One of the reasons for this among others is I just hate leaving my children. I could count on my fingers the amount of times in 5 years I’ve left them. I’m like one of those obsessive mothers I promised I’d never be. I know deep down they’ll be fine without me, but my stubbornness of people thinking I may need help, or the guilt of leaving them stops me everytime.
Another reason is I’m a complete and utter hermit which I know doesn’t help. I go out if I have to, and try not to if I don’t. Yes, I do the school run, go to the shops, take the kids to the park, but anything apart from that I rarely do. It’s not that I don’t want to or anything but I have an irrational fear of doing new things. I get a sicky feeling in the pit of my stomach when situations are slightly different to me or the unknown. I’ve always been the same since I was a child. I’ve fainted in exams, been sick in inappropriate places and had panic attacks too. For these reasons especially I know I have to push myself this new year and make a change. I think it’s about time I remembered that before I was a wife and mum, I was a friend, and that’s something I still want to be if they’ll still have me… So for my sanity wish me luck because 2010 is going to be a less scared, more sociable me for everyones sake!
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I soo agree..even though i had opportunities to go out i just thought about how guilty i felt leaving my baby.. i think ill follow suit and be a bit kinder to myself in 2010!! well i gotta find new friends first lol since all my old ones got so sick of me blowing them out……….LOL good luck
happy 2010
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The guilt is just so irrational isn’t it! just because we want to see our friends doesn’t mean we’re bad mums, we need a break occasionally too. It’s just drumming that into our heads lol! Thanks for the good luck wishes, same to you and have a fab new year.x
Loads of luck to you! A hard resolution, but your friends will help you, and you will feel like a new woman! Happy New Year
Many thanks for your comment. Fingers crossed I keep to it! Happy new year to you too. Hope its a good one.x
Hi hunnie … love this blog!! … know its not very nice of me but i just had a little giggle whilst rememberin you fainting in that exam!! lol … anyway, just to say i love this resolution of yours and can not wait for our catch up on monday
x x
Hi you! I bet you aren’t the only one that remembers me fainting like that – how embarrassing!.. typical of me to be honest lol!
Thanks so much for reading my blog chick. Its nice to know I’m not just babbling on without anyone paying attention to little old strange me!!!
Really looking forward to catching up monday too!… about bladey time is what I say!xxx
I’ve personally dealt with anxiety attacks my whole life. It started when I was just a kid and I’ve had to deal with them since then. I finally found a solution that has helped me get them done once and for all. I will tell you that it wasn’t quick or easy, but after a while I was able to finally get rid of them. I’m no longer dealing with them and its like I’ve started a new life not having panic attacks. I also saw a Dr. Oz special a few days ago, sometimes it isn’t a panic attack that is the root of the problem, I’d also recommend talking to your doctor. Best of luck!