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Right, own up, who did it?  It’s really starting to grind me down now.  One minute it’s empty, then the next it’s full!  I clear it all chuffed with myself that it’s finally sorted and done, then before I know it – BOOM!  As if by a terrible force beyond my control it appears again!…  What am I talking about you may wonder? – The joy of my life of course… IRONING!!!!!

With five of us in the house now, my once lovely wicker laundry basket is showing the strain, and bits are falling off under the weight of dirty clothes.  Generally speaking if the washing up baskets full, it’s because so is my ironing pile!  As far as I’m concerned what exactly is the point of doing more washing because when it dries where does it go?!  Oh yes, on my already overflowing, ready to topple heap of creased clothes of course!

The cycle is endless!  I wouldn’t say I’m a lazy person but the never-ending whack of my darling hubby’s shirts is enough to make me wish I was Edward Scissorhands at times just so I could snip away so there were no more to iron!…  Sound good to you too?  I bet it does!

I’m sure like me, every one of you has shed a tear for the people of Haiti following the devastating earthquake.  Instead of feeling totally powerless to help though, Bloggers for Haiti has been established on the JustGiving website to enable us to support the work of Shelterbox.org by donating and raising  funds.

Each shelterbox costs £500, and the contents contain the following urgent supplies:

• A ten-person tent with privacy partitions that allow its occupants to divide the space as they see fit
• A range of other survival equipment including thermal blankets and insulated ground sheets
• Life-saving means of water purification
• A basic tool kit containing a hammer, axe, saw, trenching shovel, hoe head, pliers and wire cutters
• A wood burning or multi-fuel stove that can burn anything from diesel to old paint
• The box itself is lightweight and waterproof and has been used for a variety of purposes in the past – from water and food storage containers to a cot for a newly born baby.
• And lastly, but  just as importantly, each box contains a children’s pack containing drawing books, crayons and pens.  For children who have lost most, if not all, of their possessions.

So,  please make a donation.  No matter how small, every little bit  raises more money to help send to Haiti the supplies they so urgently need to survive.  Please click here to donate.

Many thanks to Peggy from Perfectly Happy Mum for tagging me and passing this challenge onto me.  After searching for hours through so many photos, and getting that lovely feeling remembering certain times and places, I’ve managed it but narrowed them down to 2 instead of 1 (sorry couldn’t resist!)

So here they are

My Antiguan Paradise

This photo always makes me smile. Its of my husband and son in Antigua a few days before we got married over there.  Just looking at it again makes me smile because I was with my little family in a stunning location with everything to look forward to for the future, and about to become a wife!

Me and my boys

And this photo is my future.  My 3 gorgeous little men… need I say more?!

I wont tag anyone for this, but if you would like to do it go ahead.  It’s lovely to look back on photos to brighten your day, especially with the bad weather we’ve had!

Well, next year when I see Father Christmas I will be giving him the biggest cuddle and kiss he’s ever been given.   Thanks to him my little man is now clean and dry at last!

The special ‘big boy’ pants that were left in his sack by him for Christmas day worked wonders, and there is now no need for pull ups in my house!  Yes, you heard me correctly… at 3 years and 8 months, and after the blood, sweat and tears from a year of unsuccessful attempts we’ve done it!!!!!  I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen.  I had images in my head of having to explain to the education board,  how there was no way he could possibly start school in September, unless there was a willing teacher to take charge of the wet wipes and nappy bags to do the clean up job when called upon.  I’m sure that conversation would have gone down a treat!

As you can imagine I’m so happy with him.  I thought now that was done I wouldn’t have to be worrying about toilet issues again for at least another 2 years with baby number 3.   The thing is though, I’ve now encountered a new problem…  Wee!  The smell of it hits you as soon as you walk into the toilet or bathroom when little man has been.  I couldn’t for the life of me figure out where it was coming from.  I made sure the toilets were flushed, his trousers were still dry and the floor had no puddles either.  After still being none the wiser I was totally confused.  As he’s only just new to this toilet using lark, he’s a sitter rather than a stander for the time being.  This should theoretically mean no mess from the sprinkling winky!

After puzzling over the problem, I decided to find out the old-fashioned simple way and spy!  He’s not one for an audience when he’s on the toilet, so it wasn’t an easy job, but now with the smell of wee seemingly embedded in my nostrils,  I have my answer – he’s a side sitter!

Instead of moving his step to in-front of the toilet so he can reach, he just leaves it on the side where it’s normally moved to by his older brother.  Therefore when he’s sitting he’s facing the wrong way which means he has got a sprinkling winky which is aiming straight for my tiles, and being the helpful child that he is, he seems to be giving them a wash for me in the process!  As thoughtful as this is of him, I’ve explained that he needs to make sure he sits on the toilet straight.  Boys being boys though, I may as well talk to myself!

So there you go, now you know why my toilet smells of wee…  Anyway, must dash. If you need me anytime soon I’ll be the mad woman with the dettol spray and kitchen roll on hand waiting to spring into action to catch the drips!

So, the new year has already begun and I’ve decided there is going to be some changes that come with it too.

This year I’m going to concentrate on me.  Yes, I’m a mum of 3, and my boys will still come first no matter what, but after that it’s me, me, me!

I’m a totally unsociable cow – there, I’ve admitted it.  If people invite me out I already have an excuse stored in my brain to give them straight away without even thinking about it.   A lot of friends  just don’t bother asking me anymore because the answer has always been no.

One of the reasons for this among others is I just hate leaving my children.  I could count on my fingers the amount of times in 5 years I’ve left them.  I’m like one of those obsessive mothers I promised I’d never be.  I know deep down they’ll be fine without me, but my stubbornness of people thinking I may need help, or the guilt of leaving them stops me everytime.

Another reason is I’m a complete and utter hermit which I know doesn’t help.  I go out if I have to, and try not to if I don’t.  Yes, I do the school run, go to the shops, take the kids to the park, but anything apart from that I rarely do.  It’s not that I don’t want to or anything but I have an irrational fear of doing new things.  I get a sicky feeling in the pit of my stomach when situations are slightly different to me or the unknown.  I’ve always been the same since I was a child.  I’ve fainted in exams, been sick in inappropriate places and had panic attacks too.   For these reasons especially I know I have to push myself this new year and  make a change.  I think it’s about time I remembered that before I was a wife and mum, I was a friend, and that’s something I still want to be if they’ll still have me…   So for my sanity wish me luck because 2010 is going to be a less scared, more sociable me for everyones sake!

Well what an eventful Christmas!  I don’t know about the kids being tired, I feel like I haven’t slept for a week!

The fun started Christmas eve when our 3 year old decided bedtime really was not an option for him.  When making a sneaky run for it out of his bedroom, he slipped on the wooden floor and went head-first into the corner of the stair-gate.  The bump on his forehead emerged before our eyes, and the screaming of ‘Leave me alone’ and crying went well on until 11pm.  When he finally drifted off to sleep I sat next to him with a bag of frozen peas on his head in the hope it would lessen the lump and bruising for the photos Christmas day.  That was pointless looking at his poor head now!

Anyway, the fall obviously didn’t effect him too much because both boys were up at 5:30am.  The magic of Christmas through a child’s eyes is lovely to see.  The look on their faces was a picture in itself when they saw the treats left for Santa had gone, and Rudolph had taken a bite out of his carrot.  By the time they saw their sacks filled to the top my eldest was literally shaking with excitement!

Half an hour later with paper strewn everywhere along with cardboard galore and instruction manuals aplenty, we had 3 very happy little men.  With my DH doing the cooking this year, it was up to me to make up all toys for 3 boys at the same time with them getting increasingly frustrated that I didn’t have more pairs of hands! By 10am I was ready for bed again!

It’s now been only 2 days since Christmas day and already the familiar phrase, ‘I’ve got nothing to do’, has come from one of my little mens mouths. With a playroom full of new toys I didn’t expect to hear that for at least another week! Nevermind, with Christmas now over, I’ve  got my 5 year olds birthday party to organise for January.  With the thought of amusing 27 of his classmates at the front of my mind, I reckon the stress of Christmas was a breeze!

Father Christmas is taking all my 3 year olds pull ups away with him when he drops off his presents Christmas Eve.  I’ve been told by him that if Santa brings him some big boy pants then he’ll go to the toilet and won’t need them anymore.

Well, this is our last resort after a year of trying every single way we can think of to get rid of the pull up pants. We know he’s capable of going to the toilet because he does once a day before his bath at night time.  Getting him to go any other time of the day though would be nothing short of a miracle.  Yes, he did right at the beginning because I suppose it was a novelty being new to him, but now I’ll watch in disbelief when he’s obviously weeing/pooing in front of me. When that happens I’m like a mad woman on a mission to get him to the toilet in time to do it there instead of me having to change another putrid nappy.  At 3 and a half now changing his bum literally makes me gag.  Its no longer baby poo we’re talking about but poo that should be flushed down the toilet straight away!

Now, when I say we’ve tried everything I really do mean it.  Sticker charts, rewards, bribery, praise.  We’ve done tick charts for the whole family, so everytime one of us goes to the toilet we get a tick.  We’ve even had a money box next to the toilet so whenever he went he’d get money to add to his collection so he could buy a toy.  We’ve let him choose his own big boy pants too, which he was really chuffed about only to get home, put them on, then after an hour or so saying he didn’t need the toilet yet, proceed to make a gigantic puddle on my lounge floor.  Thank god for wooden floors is all I can say.  My house would stink to high heaven if I had carpet with the amount of ‘accidents’ i’ve mopped up.

So my wish for Christmas is this – Please Father Christmas bring my little man some pants with magic wings on them that fly him to the toilet when he needs it!  That in itself would make my Christmas just perfect!

My house is full of runny noses at the moment, well, half  full at least.  My clothes are stiff from dried snot wiped on me while holding and soothing my little man, and with the amount of tissues we’ve gone through the past few days just us alone could probably keep Kleenex in business!

It’s always this time of year just before Christmas everyone is coughing, spluttering and blaming the cold weather for every ailment we have, while praying at the same time it’s gone by the big day when all smiles and jumping with excitement is a must for the children when they see their full sacks.

With that in mind the Calpol is stocked up in the medicine cupboard alongside the Neurofen Cold &  Flu for us so we’re fully prepared for anything we’re struck down with.  If that doesn’t work I’m sure the wine and baileys that’s in ready for Christmas should numb the pain!

If you looked up ‘Worry’ in the dictionary there I would be, because that is seriously what I do day and night.  It can range from something little to something big, but if I have nothing to worry about then I’m sure to find something soon enough otherwise even that would make me worry!

I know that everyone worries about different things, but I really do think that I take it to the extreme.

When I eventually go to bed at night I lay there thinking for an hour or so about everything before I can even think about closing my eyes to go to sleep.  I worry about anything and everything.  From small things like wondering if I’ve checked the oven etc is turned off, (even though I’ve checked at least 3 times before bed), to appointments which could be in a weeks time, but I’m already stressed out about it in case I can’t park to get there or I’ve got the wrong day and time.

I worry that people are looking at me, even though logically there would be no reason for them to more than anyone else.  I worry about the school run everyday when I’m struggling to get all 3 kids in the car and I can see people behind me waiting tapping there fingers.  I worry that people don’t really like me but feel they have to talk to me in certain situations just to be polite.  I worry maybe I don’t pay enough attention to each of my boys individually and when they grow up they’ll resent me for it.  I worry about the queue that always seems to be waiting behind me in the shop when I’m trying to pack my bags and things are tipping out because they’re so full…  The list is honestly endless but each thing is as much of a worry to me than the next.  In fact, sometimes I’m physically sick with worry.

I swear my head will explode the amount of things that I think about altogether at the same time. My OCD really doesn’t help the situation either.  That is a totally different topic though which I’m not sure I’m brave enough to share yet for the fear of people thinking I should be locked up!

The one thing I really hope for is that my boys never worry like I do because I’m sure I do enough worrying on their part anyway, and at 27 I already have the grey hairs to prove it too!

Agony Aunt Sarah they should call me.  If anyone has a problem it ends up being mine soon enough too when it’s offloaded onto me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been one that loves helping people and offering my advice in the hope it will help.  I even pride myself on being quite good at it too if I’m quite honest.  There’s always a sense of satisfaction when you know you’ve helped someone with something that was weighing on their mind.  A problem shared is a problem halved as the saying goes.

The issue I have is when you’re told something in confidence that you know you should act upon but know its not your place to do so.  What do you do?  Go with your gut instincts or just be there for that person to lean on?  Do you risk losing that friendship and their confidence in you, or do what you thinks right?  Are you a proper friend if you speak out when they’ve trusted you?  Then again, are you a proper friend if you don’t?  Have you been told by them in the hope you speak out, or just to get it off their chest?

I have so many questions but absolutely no answers at all.  Sometimes I wish maybe if I was selfish people wouldn’t tell me what’s going on in their life and I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now.  That’s not me though, and I could never be like that either because then I wouldn’t be me!  So for the time being I’ll just carry on thinking things through and hopefully come up with the right decision in the end.  If that means betraying someone’s trust,  it doesn’t necessarily mean its the wrong thing to do… does it?